Rise of the Runelords

Ten Fun Facts About Goblins

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1. They Hate Horses
Goblins excel at riding animals, but they don’t quite get horses. In fact, their hatred of all things horse is matched only by their fear of horses, who tend to step on goblins that get too close.

2. They Hate Dogs
Although goblins raise horrible rat-faced creatures called (creatively enough) goblin dogs to use as mounts, and ride wolves or worgs if they can get them. Goblins are quick to explain that wolves are NOT DOGS. Their hatred of plain old dogs nearly matches their hatred of horses, and the feeling is mutual. If your dog is barking at the woodpile for no reason, chances are he smells a frightened goblin hiding in there somewhere.

3. Goblins Raid Junkyards
Garage pits, gutters, sewers (anywhere there is garbage), you can bet goblins are nearby. Goblins are weirdly adept at building weapons and armor from refuse, and are fond of killing people with what they throw away.

4. Goblins Love to Sing
Unfortunately, as catchy as their lyrics can be, goblin songs tend to be a bit too creepy and disturbing to catch on in polite society.

5. They’re sneaky
An excited or angry goblin is a noisy, chattering, toothy menace, but even then he can drop into an unsettling silence in a heartbeat. This, matched by their diminutive size, makes goblins unnervingly adept at hiding in places you’d never expect: stacks of firewood, rain barrels, under logs, under chicken coops, in ovens …

6. They’re a Little Crazy
The fact that goblins think of things like ovens as hiding places reveals much about their inability to think plans through to the most likely outcome. That and they tend to be easily distracted, particularly by shiny things and animals that are smaller than them and might make good eating.

7. They’re Voracious
Given enough supplies, a goblin takes nearly a dozen meals a day. Most goblin tribes don’t have enough supplies to accommodate such ravenous appetites, which is why the little menaces are so prone to going on raids.

8. They Like Fire
Burning things is one of the great goblin pastimes, although they’re generally pretty careful about lighting fires in their own lairs, especially since goblins tend to live in large tangled thistle patches and sleep in beds of dried leaves and grass. Give a goblin a torch, however, and someone else’s home and you have trouble.

9. They Get Stuck Easily
Goblins have wiry frames but wide heads. They live in cramped warrens. Sometimes too cramped.

10. Goblins Believe Writing Steals Your Soul
The walls of goblin lairs and ruins of towns goblins have raided are littered with pictures of their exploits. They never use writing though. That’s not lucky.Writing steals words out of your head. You can’t get them back.

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